The Ones That Started It All

Dear white girl across from me in the hot pink shoes that don't match your outfit, Please stop staring. I WILL turn ethnic if you continue.

Dear white ppl, The object I hold in my hands is called a book. Contrary to popular belief, it is NOT kryptonite to black ppl. That is all.

Dear Illegal Immigrants who own businesses and want to treat ppl like dirt and pretend not to know English, I have the INS on speed dial.

Dear Black ppl who think they're special and are still waiting for their O.J. prize in the mail, Guess what? It's NOT coming!!!

Dear Fellow Fat ppl, just b/c you wore that outfit last year, doesn't mean you can wear it now. Please re-measure and adjust. That is all.

Dear Dark-skinned ppl, just b/c you're dark doesn't mean you don't need sun tan lotion. That mysterious rash is sunburn stupid! That is all.

Dear Black ppl who live in Urban areas, The dentist is your FRIEND! If you cannot afford one, there are programs that can help. That is all.

Dear old white ppl who are veterans, Thank you for your service. Now STOP referring to black ppl as colored and we'll all get along fine.


Dear women who enjoy wearing open toed shoes,

::breathes:: Where do I begin?

A) Please make sure your toe game is correct before exposing them to the world. Eagle talons are not cute in a slingback heels no matter who designed them.

B) Just because you wore a size 7 last year, doesn't mean you still can wear a size 7 this year. Please re-measure and adjust. Also do not forget that shoes come in different WIDTHS also!!!

C) Just because your daughter, niece, young person across the way looks cute in a pair of shoes means your 20 or 30 or even 40 year-old behind should purchase a similar pair. You wouldn't wear their outfit branding Spongebob, would you? Leave their shoes alone!

D) If you purchase your CORRECT size (see above) and your toes stick out over the top or pour over the sides of the shoes, DO NOT WEAR THEM!!!!

E) The Gladiator look is not for everyone. Proceed with caution.

That is all.

OMFG!!!!!!! BLACK PPL LISTEN UP!!!!! The word is SPECIFIC!!! PACIFIC is a DAMN OCEAN!!!!! SPE-CI-FIC!!! GET IT RIGHT!!!!

That Is All

WTFH? (What The Fucking Hell?!?)

You know what? I need to have a bitch session!!! I'm really getting tired of this shit!!! Do I exude some sort of potent platonic aura from the 12th level of hell?

"I'll spend time with you, let you cook for me, spend money on me. I'll even let you fuck the ever-loving shit out of me, but I won't date you!!!"

Now most men wouldn't have a problem with this statement, but I FUCKING DO!!!! I'm actually tired of the meaningless sex. Sure they're nice for a while, but they can get real old, real fast!

Sufficed to say another one of my female friends has shoved me off a cliff, allowing me to plummet into the abyss that is "The Friend Zone"!

"You're a really great guy and I love spending time with you, but I rather just be friends. By the way, can we hook uo again friday night, I'm horny as hell!!"

That was a direct quote!!!!! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL!!!!!!!

Fuck Buddies???

Can really good friends become fuck buddies?

Here's a question for the ages? Many people will argue that having sex with a friend will automatically destroy the relationship. Some will argue the it alter the status or type of relationship indefinitely. Personally I know that indulging in such an act will definitely change the relationship that you have with your friend, but I would not go as far to say that it would have a negative effect.

Worst-case scenario (in my mind) you try it, you don't like it, you move on. If you're that good of friends, you'll laugh about it later or at the very least be able to talk about it and work things out between the two of you. Best-case scenario, you'll try it, you'll enjoy it, and maybe an actual relationship will develop. Whos to say unless you try it for yourself?

Heres the thing, were all adults, what is the problem in admitting what we want physically from a person. This person is your friend because something attracted you to them or vise versa. Why not transfer that attraction into something physical? Most of the people were friends with are either friend of circumstance (i.e. work, fraternity life, your usual drinking hole, etc) or you started talking to them out of some small attraction (be it their personality or physical attributes).

Im not quite sure where this rant is going, but I know the situation Im going at the moment. I have had female in my life for almost a year thats been a great and fantastic person to have as a friend. A little while ago, a mutual acquaintance of ours started mentioning things to me that more or less changed the way I look at my friend. Ill admit there was some level of physical attraction, but thats just because shes a beautiful person (inside and out). The more I think about it, being in an actual relationship with this person would be very great and positive thing in my life.

What this all boils down to: Do I sacrifice a great friendship for the possibility of more or do I just keep these recently developed feelings inside of me until they pass away???

Let me know what you think?