Monday, November 1, 2010

A Halloween Costume Review

NOTE: This is a not a rag on the kids themselves. I totally blame the parents for these errors.

We've all seen this costume before:

Not a big deal really. It's the old prison uniforms. Not the best idea for a costume, but whatever. Imagine my shock and surprise when I saw your everyday school sponsored Halloween parade around the neighborhood with AT LEAST 15 little black kids in these:


What's worst? Someone at THE SCHOOL had the bright idea to use the cuff to chain them all together. They looked like a mini chain gang. It was funny and so wrong all at the same time.

Parents, I'm sure you thought the outfits were cute and/or funny, but did you ever think for a second, "Why would I want my kid to look like an escaped convict?" Sure, the same can be said for dressing your child up like any manner of the undead, but to my knowledge, those are fictional characters. In this instance, you've actually dressed your kids in something real. Something real and negative to be more specific. Just because Cousin Pookie and Uncle Nuk-nuk have been in prison longer than your child has been alive, does not make it okay for you to parade them around in an outfit like that. Futhermore, to the "Adult" that thought it was funny to chain them together. There's a special place in Hell reserved for you. I hope you get there sooner than later.

That is all.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

The Dating Application

Hey folks! I know it's been a while since my last update. Things have been a little hectic lately, but I am back and ready to blog!!!

Today's Subject - Dating.

It's a mysterious subject, no matter who you ask, but for me it really is a true mystery. Don't get me wrong, I've been in relationships, but I can honestly say that there has not been a lot of dating in my life. A simple analysis of Kimani's lifestyle will tell you that I'm not the kind of guy that goes to a bar with the sole intent of meeting women. Were I to meet a woman while at the bar, I don't use pick up lines to make small talk, I just speak. Game, you say? I HAVE NO GAME. I'm man enough to admit this online.

Anyway! All of this is background to the fact that I have decided to start ACTIVELY dating. I plan to make dates (and keep them), meet new women outside of my comfort zone, and even get set up on a blind date or two (This will be a limited occurrence).

For years, some friends of mine have joked about an application process when dating people. It turns out, some people aren't joking. I found this dating application online. It was created by the infamous (or notorious) Tucker Max. You can read about him on your own, but the important thing to remember is that this was an actual application he posted for women to use.

I've decided to do something similar in that, I will post HIS EXACT application for about a week or so. After that, I plan to create a similar application that is more geared toward what I'm actually looking for in a dating partner. If you choose to fill either out, please let me know if you're serious or if you're just having fun. Once I change over to my actual application, I will take all submissions seriously. This should interesting one way or the other. Please tell your friends. That is all.

The Tucker Max Dating Application

Monday, May 24, 2010


Today I start my vacation.

Many of you that know me have an understanding of how significant this word is to me. Vacation. A break from work. A time to "recharge my batteries" (btw, I loathe that expression!). Time to let loose and fly. Get jiggy with it. Rock out with my cock out. Hang out with my wank out. And so on, and so on...

Sure, I've taken the occasional weekend trip here and there. The Carolinas, Georgia, even Florida. This is very different though. This is an actually planned out time away from all of the major stresses in my life. ALL OF THEM. With that being said, I will most likely be away from the Internet for most of my trip. I'm making conscious effort to stay off of Facebook and Twitter. I will also refrain from texting individuals if at all possible. I really just want to relax.

I will make an effort to post a small blog about my day just to keep folks updated about my shenanigans! So, on your mark, get set, VACATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, February 19, 2010

Anger much?

People wonder why I'm always angry???

Well let's start with this morning. I get off the train and see this young lady and proceed to pay her a compliment that she had piercingly beautiful eyes. She then proceeds to look like I was about to rape her and runs off in the wrong direction. (She was going to the train station.) She's lucky I didn't go "Wesley Snipes in Demolition Man" and take her eye out with a pen!

Next, I'm standing on the sidewalk waiting to cross the street. This chick (different one), comes from behind me and bumps into me. She comes next to me (still waiting to cross the street) and gives me this look like I was in her way. I tilt my head a little, not to be suggestive, and she give me this dirty look and the scoffs!

Honestly, I go out of my way to be nice to people. Sure, I can be a crass smurf-hole, but that's only once you get to know me. Other than that, I'm a very nice person.